Confessions of a cleaning lady

I was lucky(?) enough to find a job that fit PERFECTLY into our schedule. Friday night, after supper, and Saturday mornings from about 6:30-11:30, I clean 3 buildings for a business here in town. We don't have to pay for daycare, and Ben gets some time alone with the kids.

You will notice that I have not mentioned the name of the business...this is simply to protect the guilty, since I am going to tell you a few of the not so lovely things I have learned about the opposite sex in a work place.

I recently received a birthday card from a good friend(THANKS JESS)which made me laugh out loud. Not only was it absolutely hilarious, it just fit my life perfectly. On the front is an old lady pushing the face of a man down onto the bathroom floor. She says, "See what I'm doing here Shirly? Gently rub his nose in it each time and eventually I think you'll see some improvement in his aim."

So, that is the perfect segway to me ranting away about a man in a bathroom, which I just so happen to clean. We all know a man has a hard time aiming into the large, round opening of the normal toilet at home, where he is probably fearing for his life if he mis-fires. BUT...take away that fear, and replace the large opening toilet with a small, ridiculous urinal, and it is not pretty. Come on guys, there is even that nice, cherry hockey puck thing in the bottom to aim at!!!! CANNOT be done!

Any FRIENDS fans out there? Remember Phoebe's song, "Little black curly hair?" Yep, I am going to go there. I will try to be as tasteful as I can, the word tasteful is quite wrong for this subject, but none the less...this truly baffles me. Does a man's urine sprout a little black curly when splashed on the front of a urinal? I swear it is like David Hasselhoff's chest on the front of some of these things! I can't imagine using the bathroom, probably an average of once a day, and not thinking anything of the little black curly forest on the urinal that gets worse as the week goes on. Do men TRULY not notice these things? Let's be honest, even if they DID notice it, guess what, somebody else is going to clean it up anyway right? Why bother?

So, I do my best, wear my latex gloves, take a deep breath and march right up to that urinal, and squeal like a little girl while cleaning the dang thing. I then run away, so I can get a clean breath of air and smile at my sparkling clean urinal. Knowing that next week, I will have to tame it's wild black curly mane all over again!

Oh, it's all worth it, I'd do anything to send my kids to college, and I mean anything!
Nighty night!

It won't ALWAYS be like this

I am sitting at my kitchen table writing this even though the leather recliner looks divine. However, I fear I will fall asleep if my buns even brush the cushion. Ben is working late tonight, not the norm, but it makes for an interesting night. I must admit that Ben is a huge help. There may be some posts where I make it seem the exact opposite, but in truth I am very lucky to have him!

The boys are in their rooms right now, giggling about something, probably that they think they are getting away with making noise. Emily is doing her constant, "Ma, ma, ma, ma." Which seems to lull her to sleep. For some reason these noises only occur when Ben isn't here to assist. Maybe they feel that little twinge of missing him like I do. Maybe they just like to tick me off? Who knows.

I was just called upon, to sing their "Song" that I made up when Aidan was an infant, and needed me to sing and rock at a certain speed in order for him to fall asleep. It is quite funny, I think Ben is actually a little annoyed that they still want me to sing it to them, especially since it basically makes no sense, or at least sounds grammatically incorrect.

MY BOYS SONG

Mommy loves her baby boys

There names are Aidan and Caleb

Those boys love their mommy too

Just like she loves them

I agree, it is quite elementary, but none the less, they remember it, and it almost NEVER puts them to sleep anymore. I have this sneaking suspicion that they are actually giggling about the ridiculous song that I just sang to them.

As a last ditch effort, I try this one..."Sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs bite, if they do take a shoe and hit them till they're black and blue." I don't recommend using that little diddy, at least for a 5 and 3 year old. It becomes a game of 20 questions, "What bed bugs, are there really bed bugs?" "We don't have any shoes in here, what should we use?" Which leaves me so flustered, that I exit with,"That is ENOUGH, GOOD NIGHT!"

I feel bad leaving in a huff, but do NOT want to open that door again, so I whisper, God Bless you two little turkeys.

It won't always be like this, they won't always WANT me to keep coming into their rooms to give them ANOTHER kiss, sing them ANOTHER ridiculous song, so for now, I will sit here and enjoy the sound of the little heels kicking the wall, and their innocent little conversations about being a red and blue power ranger. It won't always be like this.